Monday Miscellany

Hello to new friend sileas1974!

Work Stuff
Came in this morning to discover that I will be spending my day shuffling paper - creating files, distributing rosters, etc. So. Not so much time on the computer. :(

Errand Stuff
Slowly getting the stuff in my to-do list done. Need to move my desk into the bedroom. Also need to finalize my amazon.com order... I'm using Amazon and Borders gift certificates. Turns out that to use a Borders gift certificate, you must type in borders.com instead of amazon.com. When you type in borders.com, what comes up is amazon.com. So I fail to see the distinction. But I don't have the giftcards with me, so I can't do it here.

Also, tonight we'll be getting that P.O. Box so the Panty Project can finally commence. More details on that for the new kids when we get the P.O. Box.

Ah Shit.
Forgot that the school book fair starts today. Forgot to give Miss Kid money. Ah well, it runs all week. And the family night is tomorrow, so we'll be going with her then. Don't worry, Buffy people, we'll be home by 8.

And that is all for right now.

School update

So the superintendent visited Elayna's school on Friday... and, per the PTA president, was blown away by how amazing our Montessori program is going. In fact, he's making noises about making it a county magnet school.

Rock on, man.

The PTA president is no longer the slightest bit concerned about the school closing, the guy went away so enthused. I can only hope that he decides to implement to Montessori program countywide, now that he sees how beneficial it is!

So thank you for all of your concern and thoughts on the matter... I don't have to start the letter-writing campaign just yet.

On beautiful weather and gender stuff

It's supposed to get up to 70 degrees today! So, instead of a sweater, I'm wearing a 3/4 sleeve grey shirt with what they call a "johnny collar" - polo-shirt-type lapels, but instead of buttons, a cleavage notch. Yeah. No chocolate-covered espresso beans are safe around me today.

Been thinking about the rack a lot, as you can tell. I think part of why I'm ill at ease about it is that I've never exactly been girly. When I was a kid, I was a tomboy forced into a tutu. I never wanted to be pretty. I never giggled about boys and hair and makeup. And nowadays... I've noticed I slump when I sit, or pull my legs up, or cross my arms over my breasts. I hide the girly bits. I'm not interested in the interest. So it's slightly uncomfortable to realize that I can't hide 'em anymore, that anything I wear is going to highlight them, in fact.

I make much of The Rack of Doom, but that's more in a laugh-or-cry way. I "brag" on it because I have a habit of self-mocking, self-deprecating.

And yes, this seems to be in conflict with much of my sexual manner - but I'm like a guy when it comes to sex. I'm like a guy when it comes to most things. I even give compliments like a guy - ask morenasangre. So it's just weird to have this blatant femaleness in my face, in everyone's face. It's an adjustment.

Post-lunch miscellany

Administration
Hello to new friend sar_anon; welcome back to buzz!

Anonymous posting has been re-disabled. I know, I said I was going to do that on Saturday, but the thread kept getting responses! Apologies to Lee - Lee, I'll send you a code if you want to get an account, seriously.

Assistance
buzz is having a bit of a problem and requires assistance. I'm looking to utilize the Shadesong Effect - in this case, the likelihood that one of you knows this girl - to try to get some Truth here. Check out his situation here.

Cluelessness
It has recently been discussed in another thread that I am thoroughly clueless as to when someone likes me. Or when someone is attracted to me. Unless it's hella blatant, and sometimes not even then.

EDIT: There was a poll here, and it's gone now. Made me feel all weird and self-conscious.

Life in the fishbowl

Every so often, it hits me how many people are reading my blatherings. I mean, I'm delighted every time someone adds me - nifty! a new person to get to know! - but sometimes I see the number on my userinfo page and really realize how many people that number signifies.

This always has the effect of making me a little self-conscious. Not enough to keep me from posting every random though that enters my head - but I just shrink back in my seat a little. "All of these people are watching - me?!? Why?" I don't think I'm all that interesting. And I'm sure my volume swamps the friends-pages of many of my readers. And I don't know... maybe it's part and parcel of my self-esteem issues, this disbelief that people want to know me. I'm just zis girl, you know? < /zaphod >

I dunno. I always snap out of it. Just seeing the fishbowl in sharp focus today.

More miscellany. Sorry. Scatterheaded today.

Administrative
Hello to new friend runnerwolf!

Bitter yet perky
Blue is the new orange! Self-starvation is the new cutting!
(Yes, ignore me; as Harry's father on Night Court used to say, I'm Much Better Now.)

Scheduling
Hanging out with cool kids and probably libidoergosum tonight! Tomorrow: Book Fair at Elayna's school - parent night. Yes, Buffy Night is still on. Wednesday: Got to drop off the troop cookie order, then Mommy/Daughter game night. Thursday: yendi goes to chelona and voltbang's game night. Friday: Babylon 5. Astonishingly enough, I have no plans for Saturday other than possibly hitting the Girl Scout store for patches.

Songs in my head for very different reasons
"Control", by Poe
"Do It For Our Country", Grease 2 soundtrack

Random BDSM thought
Maybe the reason I've been rabidly against submitting to a woman is that it's always been something forced upon me by a man. Which is not really what power exchange is about. I'd never had the opportunity to voluntarily submit to a Domme. And of course I resent things that are thrust upon me in violation of stated negotiations. Hm.

Books!
Using gift certificates given to me by a cow-orker, morenasangre, and my mom, I have thus far purchased Kali's Odiyya, Drag Queen of Elfland, I Dare, and Jabberwocky: A Book of Brillig Dioramas, which is a pop-up book of, yes, the poem "Jabberwocky" - with art by Graeme B ase. And if Amazon.com stops giving me shit about combining Borders giftcards (they make the whole process ludicrous), I will also be getting Fight Club (book, not DVD) (no, I don't have it yet, so sue me) and Eternally Bad: Goddesses with Attitude by Trina Robbins. And today yendi gave me a volume of short stories by Philip K. Dick. Yum.

Advice to myself, as well as anyone else who needs it
You don't have to do something just because you can.

I promise to type up a coherent train of thought sometime soon; do forgive me.