Happy Wednesday!

[shadesong]

Administration
Happy late birthday to gothwalk, swisscheesed, and yourdrkangel!
Happy on-time birthday to cynan_poly and walkingbear!

Hello to new readers dakiwiboid, joemorf, mystic9429, pandemona, suri, and wolflady26! Heh. I get an influx of new readers whenever theferrett talks about me. And they say people listen to me...

Still not 100%
But definitely getting there. Give me a little more time to settle before I get with the returning of e-mails.

Pimpage
Go take hardgirl's '80s cartoon poll.
Also take olliesmama's poll. Entertain her.
azagthoth needs a new icon. Someone help him!

Focus
Like most people, I need to be beat over the head with the clue bat repeatedly. I've known since the beginning of this year that I wasn't supposed to have any relationships this year, because they scatter my focus; I become all about pleasing my partner and don't pay attention to myself. Which was a major contributing factor to the agony of August and September.

vidicon's theory is that if I'm satisfied, I lose the edge that I need to do the spiritual work that I'm doing. Kali's weapons ought to be sharpened daily, you know.

What I do not like about this theory is the idea that this could maybe last a while. I'd be okay if it was a finite thing - no getting distracted by boys until penguinboi gets here, and then I get him as my reward.

Things I NEED to be focusing on
* Writing. I am a writer. I need to be writing. Progress was made yesterday.
* Spirituality. Everything in that vein has fallen by the wayside lately. I need to get more active with that.
* Drumming. Which is connected to spirituality, really - but I need to find a drum circle, preferably one big enough for me to play my big bodhran, which overpowers smaller circles.
* Art. I was telling Vid last night about the oil paint/found objects work I used to do in Vegas - I miss that part of me. And also jewelry making. There are parts of me that were cut away after the rape that didn't need to be cut away; my art is one of them. It took me seven years to get my writing back. I'm due for getting my art back. First step is the jewelry, I think, and the first step in that is to give myself a budget to buy supplies with... jewelry-artist friends, got any links to any good online stores? I have a stack of Fire Mountain Beads catalogs...

Okay.
I need to do work now. Will return after these messages.

Comments

[wolflady26.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the welcome. It's much appreciated! I am deeply greatful to theferrett for (inadvertantly) pointing me to another great journal! :)

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

I hope I live up to the expectations. :)

[dierne.livejournal.com]

Glad you're feeling more centred.
*hugs*

[theferrett.livejournal.com]

I get an influx of new readers whenever theferrett talks about me. And they say people listen to me...

*soft scary voice*

Quid pro quo, Clarice....

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

*ruffles your hair*

[theferrett.livejournal.com]

What's left of it, anyway.

Grr. Genetics.

[elfwench.livejournal.com]

I guess relationships is like having adult kids as far as how it can screw your focus. I know the things with my daughter have definitely screwed mine. lord_keeper says with Tami out on her own (for the now) and Rob about to graduate high school, we need to be living for us now. Trouble is, with all the drama, I don't have the energy for it.

Still, there is a yearning to create. More than crocheting. More than just my interactive writing - people keep telling me I should try to write independently, try to get published (besides the essays that got published for Women From Another Planet (http://www.livejournal.com/users/elfwench/400747.html)) Then there's the fantasy art I want to learn to draw, and like you I want to do jewelry making. Well, I'm learning chainmaile, there's a step in the right direction. And I want to go to school, and learn to program computers and/or do website design, including designing web graphics.

I'll be 44 on November 14. I've raised two kids and feel like I've wasted my life. Now I have all this wanting to come out of me, but not idea how to go about it, no money to afford it. And I wonder if it's too late.

I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and depressed and sitting in this house, which is falling apart before my eyes, and be unable to afford to do anything about it. And, what's more scary is, I've not worked enough hours in my life to qualify for any form of Social Security.

Um... Sorry about the babble... My mind just took off with my fingers there.

[mycroftca.livejournal.com]

How about a djembe?

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Oh, I have an ashiko, too, and Elayna has a djembe. But the big bodhran is my favorite.

Good to be here. ^^

[meihua.livejournal.com]

Wow, I've never been welcomed to reading someone's LJ before. :) Thanks for the welcome! And yes, I admit it was theferrett's fault.

*Settles in by the fire and reads...*

~P

[cissa.livejournal.com]

Fire Mountain is a great place to start! They have a huge selection, and are geared to cold work with beads. Prices seem good, too.

Rio Grande has a smaller selection in that line, since they aim more at people who do hot work. Still, they have somewhat better prices on SOME things, and a slightly different set of brands carried; they have that 49-strand steel cable in bronze, for instance, while FM didn't. (I have some smoky quartz that the bronze will look great with.) Their catalog set costs $10, though you get a coupon for that back on an order. They don't really have an online store, though.

For various wires, Metalliferous is good ( http://www.metalliferous.com/ ). I think their catalog is downloadable, although you miss the pretty metallic inks they used in the print version to match the metals (which, frankly, sounds like a better idea than it was, especially with silver). They have a base metal and a silver catalog. You probably want the former; it has stuff like coated wire in all sorts of colors that's just lovely, plus a lot of findings. Generally good prices, I think. I'm not sure if you can order over the web; I usually call. And check the order when you get it; after years of perfection, they hired a doofus and orders now get mixed up sometimes. They're good about resolving it, though.

I'm assuming you're interested in cold work; if you're planning on doing hot, there are some other tool catalogs you might find of interest.

*hugs*

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Interested in starting with cold work. In Vegas, I was working with a soldering iron! But I want to start with the quick-n-easy stuff for now. Thanks!

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

Rio Grande's Gems and Findings catalog is always worth looking at, though I honestly have to say I buy more from Fire Mountain. The traveling International Gem & Jewelry show is coming to our area this weekend, and I get to go get surrounded by beads! YEAH!

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Lucky you!

[dorei.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the birthday wishes! Hope you're feeling better soon. :)

[swisscheesed.livejournal.com]

Thanks and all the best for whatever you're dealing with. I hope everything works out.

[mishamcm.livejournal.com]

Focusing on yourself is a good idea. You tend to worry about pleasing others, which is a fine thing, but you can let your own needs get lost in the shuffle.

Don't fret about us, or email, or any of that. It can wait. We understand. When you feel like it, we're always here.

It can be overwhelming to discover you actually can't keep up with everything and everybody the way you expect yourself to be able to, but you really aren't letting us down. You remind me of someone I knew who would take two weeks of accumulated vacation time over one weekend. If you need to disappear for a while, fine. And we won't be insulted if you need to stop reading your friends page or responding to comments. Whatever you need comes first.

[kaliwohi.livejournal.com]

I often think that it would be nice to have other relationships. As scattered as I am and with as much as I tend to have on my plate, I usually shy away from them for the same reasons that you mentioned above. I just don't feel like I could devote that time to someone else right now, and I'm trying to limit the number of directions I'm being pulled in. Relationships can be very distracting. That being said, I've been thinking about how I can structure my life so that this will no longer be the case. More focus is at the top of that list.

icon

[springdew.livejournal.com]

azagthoth can sometimes be difficult to please, but I will give it a shot.

It's good to see you feeling a bit more yourself.

Re: icon

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Yeah. The addressing of issues was necessarily, but.... very poorly handled. That, in combination with his public snipe, which was based on a 100% incorrect assumption....

Re: icon

[azagthoth.livejournal.com]

Since this is a repy to springdew where she mentions me then you're coments mention a he, I hope this isn't anything having to do with me, I can't think of anything I've done.

Re: icon

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Nonono! Not you. Something Spring and I had addressed separately. You're cool. :)

[frawg-angel.livejournal.com]

I get an influx of new readers whenever theferrett talks about me. And they say people listen to me...

Must obey theferrett... I can't decide if it's the lj hypno ray, or the twitchy little whiskers, but must obey...

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Damn that hypno ray!

Hi. :)

[frawg-angel.livejournal.com]

Hullo :)

[theferrett.livejournal.com]

All hail the Hypnotoad!

[frawg-angel.livejournal.com]

Why did I just get an image in my head of a toad with ... have you watched Invader Zim? ... Postulio for every wart on his body.

It's a very frightening mental image, but strangely appealing...

[amberite.livejournal.com]

Fire Mountain Gems is really the best I've found. I hope you have their most recent catalog, where they added turquoise to the assortable semiprecious stuff. :-) They've got an online store too, but I prefer their paper interface -- it's hard to circle stuff on a computer screen, or curl up with one.

I buy most things from them, findings from local beadshops, and occasionally something specific like amber or jet from Ebay. To find amber on ebay, search for "baltic amber" . . . for jet, usually I search out "tibetan jet".

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

I have their old paper catalogs.... just ordered the new one! :)

[ashlupa.livejournal.com]

The best drum circle in the city is Thursday night at Sensua Gallery...8-11. I'm planning to go tomorrow...want to come with?

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Ooooh. Tempting.....

[ashlupa.livejournal.com]

You know you want to....it's a lovely group, facilitated.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Facilitated?

[ashlupa.livejournal.com]

There's someone in charge making sure that idiots aren't allowed to act like idiots, and helping new people.

[faekitty.livejournal.com]

Sounds cool....can you point me to more info on the circle please?
I would really like to learn, but i am very shy in groups and hesitant to do new stuff thereby making an ass of myself. Facilitated sounds cool.
Do they have a website, or anything pointing to location?

[ashlupa.livejournal.com]

Go to the gallery website for directions...

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

They don't have quite the *selection* that Fire Mountain Beads does, but
www.shipwreckbeads.com
and
www.crazycrow.com
both have *fabulous* prices for what they carry.

[joemorf.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the welcome!

I need to find a drum circle as well, it's been too long since my last Djembe Jam... (Renfaire, was it? I forget.) Plus, since my summer gig dried up, I have zero dosage of daily drums... major bummer.

Thanks again - blame theferrett.

~j

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Summer gig?

I haven't drummed in forever.... hard to get time/space! I need to commit to doing that this afternoon.

I blame theferrett for a lot of things. They're all good things, though.

[joemorf.livejournal.com]

Summer gig?

I got hired as a singer over at Knott's... but they put me on the schedule as a drummer without ever hearing me play. They're prety laid back over there. My first reharsal was "Hey, the regular guy has to split, do you want to sit in?"

When in doubt, blame theferrett. Hrmmm... I kinda like hat.

~j

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Well, usually I'm the one who gets blamed. So I'd like to shift as much of that over to theferrett as I can. *nods*

[joemorf.livejournal.com]

I'll see what I can do to help. I'll start by incorporating "Dammit, Ferrett!" into my daily speech.

In fact, "Ferrett!" as a substitution for the F word may catch on rather quickly. I'm gonna hustle right out and try using it this minute.

~j