Clarification

[shadesong]

yendi and I are both prone to bouts of depression. And neither of us medicate for it. So, thankfully infrequently, our cycles of depression can sync up and create a truly nasty spiral. Which is what has been happening, it seems.

We both debated about whether to post anything at all, but we were both *so* low - and we've been determined to be honest in our journals. We did discuss our posts with each other first to make sure we were okay with each other's posts, as we don't believe in having public fights.

I was a little short with a few people only because I was distressed that they immediately judged this as not only a fight, but The End. Trust me, if it's ever The End, you won't see us posting the breakdown as it happens, we'll both be reeeeally quiet for a bit then just post, "It's over", probably. Not that that is likely to happen. But I just want to let you guys know - if we're talking, we're going to be okay.

yendi and I are both having to make a lot of adjustments for this relationship to work. Hell, I moved to a city where I only knew two people and went monogamous for this boy. Add to that the catastrophic weight gain on both our parts, the tension of adjusting to living together, the depression, and my adjustment to life without active D/s and attempts to find a way to get those needs taken care of....

Essentially, we're doing really well, considering. Speed bumps happen in any relationship. We're committed to being together, and we'll continue to work through everything.

love,
yendi and shadesongD

Comments

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

I love you both, and I'm here for both of you, both together and individually. You know where to find me -- any time.

[m0usegrrl.livejournal.com]

you have no idea how happy i am to read that...

i love both of you, and will always be here for you. don't ever doubt that, and don't ever forget it either.

::hugs::

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

I was a little short with a few people only because I was distressed that they immediately judged this as not only a fight, but The End.

Eeep! Now *that* was silly of them.
1) Neither of you were anywhere near *that* upset.
2) You're both of the type to TALK about this shit for a helluva long time before The End.

But perhaps it's just my point of view, of being married to someone who in his heart of hearts is only waiting for me to cheat on him...it's not "if" it's "when". I know that just because we have arguments on the issue doesn't mean we're anywhere near breaking up. I know that it's a slow and steady process to clear out that insecurity.

This is good to read about...

[(Anonymous)]

As I'm going through a few "bumps" right now .. My girlfriend just moved to Atlanta (doesn't like it), and is trying to adjust -- I'm trying to help, but somehow I just make things worse...

Any suggestions?

Re: This is good to read about...

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Hm. Questions: Are you in Atlanta? I'm assuming you are... if so, did she move here *just* for you, or does she know other people? Is she working yet, or still looking for work? What does she hate about Atlanta? Give me more details, and I'll try to give you suggestions! You can also e-mail me at shadesong@livejournal.com if the details end up being too long or you don't want them to be that public...

?

Re: This is good to read about...

[(Anonymous)]

Yup -- We both are living in Atlanta. She moved to Atlanta because our relationship had reached the point that a 300-mile commute whenever we wanted to see each other was just too much. (And she wanted to take it to the next level.)

She's starting work next Monday, working for the Atlanta City Schools as a Teacher.

What she hates about Atlanta: Rude people, traffic, bad water quality, smog, too confusing, everyone in too much of a hurry (she comes from a city about 1/4 the size of Atlanta.)

If you want, I can take this to E-mail... Things are improving, but I'm such a "Fix it" kinda person, I hate to see her all stressed out like this.

Thanks in advance!

Re: This is good to read about...

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

A lot of those are similar to the problems I had when I first arrived here! The traffic and the too confusing, anyway. Does she have any friends here yet, or are you her only support person? It's so much easier when the person has a network of friends to help them acclimate.

And sure, you can take it to e-mail and give her my e-mail address too, if you'd like! Who are you, anyway? :)

[metaphorge.livejournal.com]

and you both rock!

*hugs*

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks. :)

[gothwalk.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear things are ok - not, tbh, that I thought they wouldn't be. My male problem-solving mind is busy churning through solutions, but that's not much use to you, so here's a more useful one: *hugs*

[crimmycat.livejournal.com]

I second the *hugs* with *hugs* of my own!