(no subject)

[shadesong]

The afternoon was more fun than the morning... culminating with Erin and the student workers and I giggling maniacally as we stabbed cardboard boxes with a knife, a letter opener, and a screwdriver.

The screwdriver was my favorite.

And in manipulation news... just got a call from my sister, who put Miss Elayna on the phone.

Elayna: "Mommy, I want us to move back to Florida so I can be with you and Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Ali all at the same time."

Me: "Well, I'm sorry, sweetie. We can't do that."

Elayna: "Why not?"

Me: "Well, I work here now. And we signed a lease. Ask Grandma to explain leases, okay?"

Elayna: "Okay,. I guess..."

Me: "Hey! Tell Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Ali that they should move up here! That would solve the problem!"

Elayna: "Okay, I'll tell them! Hold on, I'll let you know what they say." Long pause. "They say no."

Me: "Okay. Well, we can't move back down, sweetie - I work here, you go to school here..."

Elayna: "I like my camp."

Me: "Well, you can go to that camp next summer, too. And Grandma and Grandpa can visit us here."

Elayna: "Okay..."

We chat a little more, she talks to yendi, and she hangs up. Phone rings again - it's my sister. She says, "Well, Elayna told me in the car that she would miss me. So I told her that she should talk to you about why you guys moved and explain to you how that hurts her."

Y'know... I really hate my family sometimes. I really truly do. So selfish. Don't they realize saying stuff like that makes it harder for Elayna? I mean, in my mind, the proper response would be something like, "I'm going to miss you too... I'll see you in a few months, though, and you can call me any time!"

Gah.

µ

Comments

[metaphorge.livejournal.com]

humans have little regard for anything except getting what they want

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Apparently. Even if it means causing distress to a small child.


–

[metaphorge.livejournal.com]

another of the myriad of reasons i will never again have a child

[ariedana.livejournal.com]

My mom and dad bug me weekly to move back to my hometown, even though everytime I'm there I'm usually miserable. I'd hate to see what they would do if I had kids. Hang in there. Moving away is brave enough and moving with the manipulation thing is about five times worse.

[metaphorge.livejournal.com]

Amen.

Your parents could write the book on Unsubtle Manipulation.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there was immense pressure, and not just through Elayna - my dad actually offered to buy me a comic shop to run if I stayed in Florida.

yendi never has to doubt my love for him, man.



‚

[ariedana.livejournal.com]

On one memorable trip home from NC, my dad was driving me and Fox back from somewhere and said, "Let's go for a little drive. I want to show you something." He took us a couple of miles out in the country and showed us this gorgeous piece of land, next to a creek. He said, "I bought this. If you'll move back I'll build you a house on here. Whatever you want."

Tells you a lot about my feelings about my hometown that we turned that down....

*eyes narrow and darken with fury*

[amai-unmei.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, shadesong, but people who manipulate children to their own ends piss me off so badly. I have a few of those "types of people" in my family who have ruined my life because of their callousness to their children and others. I mean, how hard would it have been to act like an ADULT and tell you how she felt about your moving, instead of using your daughter to say so, and in a negative light no less?

Must ... control ... Fist of Death ...

Re: *eyes narrow and darken with fury*

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this is the way it works in my family. I moved over a year ago, and they're *still* pulling this crap.... and using Miss Kid to do it. We are having a Serious Talk when they get up here.....


æ

Re: *eyes narrow and darken with fury*

[metaphorge.livejournal.com]

perhaps having a Serious Phone Conversation or a Serious Email once they return would be better

my anger would be much too great in this situation to do it in person

[technomom]

Katie's paternal grandparents are not allowed to see her without supervision (and not much of that, since neither Sam nor I are willing to spend any time with them) due to their abusive nastiness to her (and us, actually).

But after Katie's father died, his mother pitched an absolute fit and told me - in front of Katie - that if I actually loved my child, I would leave sambear and move back to (small crappy south Georgia town where Katie had been with her father) rather than having Katie with me in Atlanta. Despite the fact that I wouldn't have been able to get a job in that place unless I decided to run a register at WalMart or something - there IS NO computer industry there so it isn't as if anyone's hiring tech writers or QA analysts.

And Katie wanted to come here to be with me and Sam and his kids and close to my parents - she'd been asking to do so for years. Her grandmother just hadn't ever actually listened to her except when she was telling her that she shouldn't want to be near or like me because then she'd go to hell with me.

I hate people who are willing to hurt kids to suit their agendas.

[metaphorge.livejournal.com]

considering the lack of thought that the bulk of parents put into whether they should have children in the first place, is it any wonder?

[ariedana.livejournal.com]

I have a sneaky feeling that if I ever have more kids that my mom might try the same thing. My family is fundamentalist Christian and my mom has already told me how sorry she is that she won't see me in heaven. I could see Mom sneaking my kids to church behind my back "for their sake."

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Thankfully, I have an excuse not to let her see her mentally-abusive "paternal grandma" - she's an ex-step-grandma. No blood relation = no obligation!

And I know what you mean about the not listening...


ˆ

[melintur.livejournal.com]

Why do you have contact with these people any more. If I were in your shoes, I would break communication and move on.

(I've meant to post this mutiple times, but have been too chicken until now.)

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

You know... I have honestly never thought of that.

Hm.

I *would* miss my dad - my dad really is a great guy, he's just kinda fuzzy in his head. It's the women of the family that are eeeevil.

[m0usegrrl.livejournal.com]

[i've actually thought it a few times myself, in all honesty...]

::hide::

personal question - pure curiosity

[ilexx.livejournal.com]

...how are you going to handle the situation? do you feel you'll need to "de-program" Elayna as it were? she sounds like an awfully bright kid. that really sucks ass that your family would be so selfish and cruel. which ammends my attitude that some people shouldn't breed. some have no business even breathing near children, for the same fucking reason. grrrr.

Re: personal question - pure curiosity

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

The deprogramming should be mild - this is the first I've heard of brainwashing attempts, and she'll be up here in just a few days.

I'll have to do a post about my parents one of these days....

[adellyna.livejournal.com]

Dude... remind me to tell you about my father when I come up there. When he and his third wife divorced two years ago, their kids were 9 and 7. And when she asked him what they were going to tell the kids he replied that they shouldn't tell them anything, that they'd hear about it from friends and neighbors eventually and come ask about it. Asshat.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Dude.

Asshat indeed.


t

[phantom_wolfboy]

Wow. You know, suddenly I really appreciate my parents.

If you really plan to sit down and confront them with this, start documenting now. Because even if they remember the specific incidents you mention, they will insist they were not attempts to manipulate you. So have everything that you need in front of you.

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

I think almost daily about how lucky I am to have wonderful, low-drama parents.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

You are lucky indeed...

[bellacrow.livejournal.com]

you know, if it were me, I would break all ties, they arent healthy for you , they arent healthy for Elayna. I cant see how you could suddenly explain their absence from her world, but damn, I cant see what good they do for your family.