%#^%$&^% uniform

[shadesong]

So. I go to pick out Elayna's clothes this morning, and I say, hand on a cute white shirt with pink surfboards on it and pink capri pants, "Do you want to wear pink again today?"

Elayna: "No."
Me: "No?" (Pink is her absolute favorite color.)
Elayna: "We're supposed to wear uniforms."
I swallow my anger at The System. "Well, they said you didn't really *have* to start wearing the uniform until January."
Elayna: "Yeah, but everyone else wore theirs yesterday. I'm supposed to wear a white or yellow shirt and..."
Me, sighing. "Yeah. Yeah, I know." I grab a white shirt and khaki cargo shorts and hand them over.
Elayna: "Thanks, Mom."
Me: "Yeah. Glad you're able to conform like everyone else."

Dammit.

I hate this uniform policy. Hate it hate it hate it. And I want to push the envelope as much as I can....

...but she doesn't want to. And, bottom line, she's the one that has to be in school and be the only kid not in the uniform; and if she doesn't want to do that, it wouldn't be fair to push her.

Dammit.

I consoled myself by using bright purple ponytail holders for her pigtails.

Comments

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

It has the upside of making less of the clique thing with kids.. and no matter what any parent thinks.. it starts from first grade and its ALWAYS there.. even if the kids don't even notice it right away..

but little clone kids makes it almost as bad..

Makes the moron potential jocks with no personality a little less cool though hehe

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

If it *is* there, Elayna's never noticed it....

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

I only noticed it when I was in jr high and looked back and thought about it..

[waymerich.livejournal.com]

The only true upside to the uniform is dicipline, but it leaves a huge open door to introduce the childeren to conformity and the huge lie that it is not good to think for yourself.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Discipline schmiscipline! This is a Montessori school; they're not sitting in neat little rows writing row by row of assignments, they're sprawled out on the floor helping each other with multiplication. It's *different* for them.

[waymerich.livejournal.com]

Then I agree with you 100% they should be allowed to wear what they want. In my opinion uniforms should not be inforced except for legitimate reasons. still I liked your touch of rebelioon with the ponytail.

I am Lisa Simpson.

[queenofstripes.livejournal.com]

I'm a hair's breadth from recommending going from the ponytail holders straight to face-paint or deelyboppers, but then, I'm biased. :) And I have no right to say anything, since I pretty much ate out of the palm of the dystopian regime that ran my high school... :(

I absolutely can't believe a Montessori school is requiring uniforms! What's the point of touchy-feely liberal alternative education, if not to promote individuality? ;) I can almost make a case for it in a large city school, where fashion choices can literally mean life or death for the older kids, but...

I kinda think trying to enforce discipline through superficial things like uniforms is kinda silly, anyhow. If there's a specific problem with clothes and fashion, it's a decent interim solution... but discipline comes from inside. I'd rather see them teaching the kids to be the sort of people that don't care about clothes or don't want to tease the other kids, than just take away a potentially positive outlet for creativity.

Re: I am Lisa Simpson.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Well, I'll probably steer clear of the face-paint, but I plan to get wacky with her hair; I was just running late this morning.

It's Montessori, but it's a public Montessori school - they went with uniforms for all the public schools in the county. But dammit, there ought to be an exception!

Re: I am Lisa Simpson.

[voltbang.livejournal.com]

I saw some purple irridescant hair glue at the hair cuttery when we got haircuts the other day. How wacky were you thinking?

I never rebelled creatively, I just skipped a lot of school.

Re: I am Lisa Simpson.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. We could maybe do that.

I skipped school, too. And wore outfits designed to make them send me home. :)

Re: I am Lisa Simpson.

[voltbang.livejournal.com]

Ok, my imagination was on a leash. Now it's not. We did have a game where we would call the school and try to get our skips excused. "I feel sick and my mother is in meetings till 5:00 so she said I should call you" only works if you can get your mother to back your play the first two times, and you use it rarely. But I was shy back then, I don't think I could have pulled off the outfit trick.

They had the hair goop in purple and green and bright gold and stuff. Just don't remind her about how it related to the uniform thing.

Re: I am Lisa Simpson.

[waymerich.livejournal.com]

I am glad you found out how to say it. Didn't All of Dekalb make uniforms mandatory this year? I feel that the unifors will hinder some childrens creativity.

Uniforms promote nonconformity

[terracinque.livejournal.com]

In the Navy, naturally, everyone was male (on my ship, anyway), had the same haircut and dressed the same. Like you, my initial assumption was that this would encourage sameness.

But it doesn't work that way. When physical distinctness is removed, people's personalities and creativity come to the fore, and really blossom. My men all looked alike, but it was easy to tell one from another, because they acted uniquely, they walked uniquely and their mannerisms and speech were unique.

Uniforms do that. They foster individuality.

And besides that, it keeps the poor kids from being embarrassed by their rags and the rich kids from showing off their designer clothes.

I believe in school uniforms.

Re: Uniforms promote nonconformity

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

I can see your point, but I don't think that means that uniforms are *necessary*... and part of my problem with it, as expressed in an earlier post (but not this one, I know), was that the parents were informed on Wednesday that the children needed full uniforms by Monday. We spent $150, and she could probably still use more shirts. How is that helping the poor kids? Most people (us included! We're lucky we had the $150 gift card!) aren't able to buy an entire new wardrobe for their child (or children) on about 4 days' notice. That's even *less* fair to the families with less income.

[terracinque.livejournal.com]

Sure, that's bad and unfair. Some sort of subsidy for the poor families, or at least more notice, would seem to be indicated.

I was just addressing the principle.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Are you getting me out of the house for yendi's writing night this week or not? I gotta know!

Re: Uniforms promote nonconformity

[branwynelf.livejournal.com]

I'd forgotten it's a Montessori ... uniforms at a Montessori do seem counter intuitive, but then it's a public school. There's a good chance they're getting pressure from the district to follow suit (heh, so to speak).

However I agree with you 100+ percent that you should have had more than 4 days notice. At the very least there should have been a mailing to all enrolled people during the summer, or better yet a heads up as school got out at the start of summer.

But my guess is they may not have known it themselves 'til close to the start of school - knowing the way school districts here work, it may well have come down to them last minute, and they think they're doing a favour making it not mandatory 'til January not thinking about the concept of peer pressure.

Don't be too hard on Elayna - let her conform where she wants too. I have this problem too at times, I know what I want my kids to do - or what I'd do if I were in their shoes - but I have to let them find their own path and own personality. No matter in which ways she chooses to conform, fantastic kid, and she'll never conform completely. I never did, but I also hated being the odd one out - and from the time we moved to California when I was 10, I always stuck out (as a Canadian, as an atheist, as a hippie throw-back before that sort of thing was cool ... ). She'll do fine. ::hugs::

(Please be sure to quote all this back at me when I start stressing over similar issues?)

Re: Uniforms promote nonconformity

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

I have questions regarding whether the uniform decision is even legal....there was no notice of a vote. I think there may have to be.

And yeah, that's why I let her wear a uniform today...

Re: Uniforms promote nonconformity

[branwynelf.livejournal.com]

I have two kids in grade school, and it's a school with uniforms. But there is wiggle room - socks, hair, jackets, and shoes are not regulated. So it's fun to see who does what with those options. School this year will start with my 3rd grade son having half-grown-out bleached hair on the top of this head, and my daughter with almost gone purple streaks in her blond hair. (I told them we could go really outrageous for summer, but during the school year things need to be a little more traditional - mostly because my son is such a difficult child to keep tabs on that I dont' want to give the school any other reasons to tag him as "problem" and make it that much worse getting them to work with me to keep up with him.)

ANYWAY, my point is that I agree that uniforms do not stiffle individuality. I notice more about the kids I see now because of the uniforms and the ways they get around them than I do when there is free reign. Yep, we still see the kids with $150 sneakers because shoes aren't regulated - but thankfully for now my kids' reactions are "How do you play on a wet field with those shoes and not get yelled at by your mom when you get home?" hee hee

[morenasangre.livejournal.com]

I'm not a good person to ask about this.

I wore specific, bought-from-the-school uniforms for 4 years and abided by a dress code for 6 more years. I went through kneeling length-checks of skirts. I went through being condemned for having short hair. I hate clothing constraints.

I hate uniforms. With 10 degrees of passion. Give Elayna a few days or a few weeks. She may get sick of wearing the same thing over and over, she may not. She may be creative with being subversive. I seriously doubt she's going to be too cool with just doing the same thing for too very long. Give her a little time. :)

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you. :)

[metaphorge.livejournal.com]

reason #427 that I would be a homicidal maniac if I were a parent....

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Yup. I'm hangin' on by a thread, man.

again with the late comments

[gwynraven.livejournal.com]

I hate school uniforms. I went to private schools from 1st grade all the way through 12th. I got a great education, I must admit, but I stifled in the environment. I got to college and was absolutely amazed by the fact that I could wear whatever I wanted to class. I have to contribute at least a little of my coming out of my shell in college to the fact that I had more opportunity to express my creativity and individuality non verbally through what I wore. It helped pave the way for me to be more expressive verbally as well.

I can understand many of the points in favour of school uniforms, but I have to admit to being biased against them. Not that Elayna sounds like she'd have any problem expressing her individuality, uniforms or no uniforms.