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June 8th, 2013

shadesong: (Hearth)
Saturday, June 8th, 2013 01:40 pm
Realized last night that I am, in fact, not going to have another baby.

Judah and I had talked about children, you see. A lot. Because Judah really, really wanted kids. Judah was baby-crazy, I'd joke to everyone. Rarely did a week pass that he didn't talk about impregnating me.

And I'm 39, you know. And my body is not best suited to pregnancy at this point of disability. So there was a timecrunch factor, and some leeriness on my part. But Judah had to have a baby...

So I was thinking about that this morning, about the realization that I was definitely not having a baby now, about how it was a relief to have that pressure to breed anew off me...

...

...oh yeah.

Reproductive coercion is totally a thing.

...I expect these things to keep occurring to me as time passes. I expect to keep recording them here as they do.