too angry to write...

[shadesong]

So Elayna came home, having done two of her math problems and *none* of her spelling words. And spent the next two and a half hours sobbing hysterically about how it wasn't fair that she has homework, and what horrible people we are and how we'll never understand, and all of that. For two and a half hours. Just like pretty much every day last week.

The end result is that I am too goddamn angry to write right now. They give the kids an hour in after-school care to do homework, and if she'd sat down and *done* it, it would've been done. If she'd just sat down and done it when she got home, it would've been done, even, and she could've watched some TV, and I wouldn't be angry. But no.

I am sick of the whining. From now on, if she doesn't do her homework in after-school care, she gets no TV or dessert. I'll give her credit if she looks like she put effort into it, but two math problems in the span of an hour is not effort. I am not going to spend every night listening to her wail about how homework isn't fair.


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Comments

[m0usegrrl.livejournal.com]

what kind of consequences, if any, are there at school if she doesn't do her homework? i mean, beyond a bad mark. do they lose priviledges or something? get added responsibility? [i don't know how Montessori works...]

i'd say just let her go to school and face the repercussions from her teacher -- i daresay her crying and drama won't wash there...

might moving her work area back into her room alleviate the drama?

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

I don't know what their consequences are... moving her work area won't change anything, she'll just have a little farther to walk to glare balefully at me. And a door to slam.


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[yendi]

Moving her work area would not work. She needs to not be in her room, where there are more distractions, but in a common room where we can catch her goofing off.

[azurelunatic]

True, that.

Blank table with homework, pencil. Nothing else, pretty much.

It's not lazy, from her perspective, I can almost guarantee you. It's the idea that this is not an intelligent application of my time and energy, and I could be doing things that are worth my time. Got to Naismith her into it. I wish someone had studied Naismithing when I was doing my homework at that age, because I did the same damn thing. It's handwriting practice and homework practice, and I bet if you got some homework-type materials from about three, four grades up, and used those as a bribe for getting the boring stuff done... she might get extra credit for that, too, if she turned in that as well as the real homework.

[voltbang.livejournal.com]

I had the blank boring desk approach tried for me. I learned how to imagine intersting stuff better. My mother could not fathom how I could not protest sitting in a chair with my eyes closed, awake. Imagining stuff was far more interesting than multiplication tables.

[azurelunatic]

I used to sit there, being too stubborn to go back on my given word that I was not doing this because it was pointless.

[branwynelf.livejournal.com]

Here's what we did with Jareth last year:

The teacher set an amount of time homework *should* take. He had that long to finish it. If he came home with it done at daycare, and there were no corrections he got a normally weekends-only activity to do (computer games in our case). If he hadn't finished it, the timer was set, and he had to finish it in that time. If it wasn't done, it went to school un-done (and with a call from Mom to the teacher letting her know to be watching for it), he spent recess on the bench working on it, and when he came home that night, he had to do that day's homework PLUS read for 20 minutes and write a 10 sentence description of what he read (and those were turned in to the teacher for review too.) And if he came home from school with a "we had no homework tonight," he got to do the reading and sentences unless he remembered to get a note from the teacher specifying there really was no homework.

It takes both the parents and the teacher cooperating to make it work. In our case, it took a while but by the end of the year, homework was either done at daycare or was done quickly and quietly at home in the alloted amount of time.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

*nod* The teacher sends home an agenda for the week every Monday, so at least we don't have the "no homework" problem"...

[olliesmama.livejournal.com]

I know this sounds elaborate, but I want you to think about something...I'm not talking about homework here, I'm talking about the moodiness...I know she's young. But, as the friend of someone who got her period at age 6...are you sure she's not picking up PMS? It can occur up to two years before actual menstration. Just something to think about.

[phantom_wolfboy]

No TV and no dessert make Elayna . . . something, something . . . ;-P

homework fits

[wintersweet.livejournal.com]

Ah, I remember this well. In my case, I'm pretty certain I had profound ADD as a child, but it's rarely diagnosed in girls. (I don't think it requires meds, just understanding and management). And I'm pretty sure I still have it. I'm looking for some books on adult ADD now.

You might check out http://www.addvance.com/ just in case.

[kk1raven.livejournal.com]

Apart from "it isn't fair", do you know what her problem with doing homework is? Is she bored by it, or frustrated with it or just plain upset that she can't be doing some specific other thing or what? Knowing why she doesn't want to do it might give you some clue as to how to handle the problem.

I think making there be consequences for not doing it is a good choice, but if there's more of an underlying problem you want to make sure to deal with that too.

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

I must say, I'm almost more angry at everyone trying to find an "underlying reason" why a 7-year-old is being stubborn about homework. Umm...duh. She's 7. And it's homework. Do any of you *remember* being a kid, and not wanting to do homework, just BECAUSE? She hasn't had to do it before, it's new, it's a new school year, she thinks she's bigger, so she's going to see exactly what the boundaries are on this whole "homework" thing. And it's going to take her weeks to test each boundary, find out exactly where they are, and settle in to them.

Or am I the only one besides 'song who had intelligent and stubborn children? I knew people who didn't...they had really really *boring* children and could never understand why I had so much trouble with mine. (Umm...'cause they're smarter than theirs and more easily bored? And they THINK for themselves, therefore are more stubborn and mischievious.)

My opinion: it's a pain in the ass, 'song, but just keep going the way you're going. It takes consistent effort over time, but she'll realize the boundaries aren't going to move, and she'll settle down. :)

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know I just have to keep plugging away and not budge.... it's just damn frustrating to deal with the temper tantrums! I know you know. *hugs*