(no subject)

[shadesong]

I guess what pisses me off most is hearing her turn up her nose and say "I can't." Because it's such bullshit. She *can*. We know this, and she knows this, and she knows *we* know she knows this.

I don't take "I can't" well from anyone. Especially when I know damn well they can.


o

Comments

[kk1raven.livejournal.com]

How are you reacting to it when she says she can't? What happens if you simply say ask her to explain why she can't do it? Would it work to tell her she can write a page explaining why she can't do the work and give that to the teacher the next day? She'd still have to suffer the consequences of not doing her homework, but she'd also have to put some thought into expressing why she isn't doing it. If the teacher will cooperate, you might get somewhere with putting a stop to the "I can'ts" and the teacher might learn to understand her attitude a bit better, which can't possibly hurt.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid that I get really angry when I hear I can't... my only response tends to be "Yes. You. Can. Now *do* it." And then I have to go in the other room to chill out...

[la-belledame.livejournal.com]

When I get any variation of "I can't" or "I don't want to" or "This is boring" I tell both Henry and Lucy "Objection noted." They don't like it, but they prefer it to me yelling. Another phrase I use is "That's not an option" when they try to deal their way out of it.

Henry doesn't like to do homework because once he understands something, he doesn't understand why he has to do a whole page full of it. Usually the wrangles end with him saying "Must I?" and me saying "Yes. You must." "Must I?" is a good sign -- it means he's going to do what you ask.

Lucy just gets bored because she'd rather be reading or playing. I think what's most irritating is that she has entered the Whiny Season of her life, and from what I understand, it doesn't get better. That makes me even more cross than Henry's opposition. I sometimes think that we could end wars more quickly by sending in squads of 7 & 8 year old girls and letting them whinge.

The upshot? Stand firm, don't let her engage you in an argument, see if she needs help, and if she does, don't let her distract you with conversation or complaint. Point to the problem and redirect. Keep it simple. There are two consequences: the longer she takes, the less time she'll have for more pleasant activities and if it's undone, she'll have to explain it to her teacher.

Try to maintain a firm, calm exterior and remember,you're not a bad mom. Child protection services are not going to show up on your doorstep because you're trying to make your daughter do her homework. They can't be on everyone's doorstep, after all

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks for the advice! :)