(no subject)

[shadesong]

My afternoon = lunch at Taquiera de Sol with the Manifestress karlita, followed by JavaMonkey, where I talked to my Barista Crush.

Today I had the courage to stammer out something along the lines of "Umm I feel stupid because I come here All The Time and I don't actually know your name, I mean I know you, but I do not actually know your name, and hi! I'm 'song."

And I do know him and he knows me, because he remembers to make my chai without foam. But now I know his name.

I am so shy. No one who reads me believes that, but I seriously am. But! I talked to my Barista Crush today, and he said that it was very nice to be formally introduced.

Since I'm going off on a shyness tangent.... the first time I saw docorion... well, he saw me. I was perusing the freebie tables, and he says his thought process was along the lines of "very small person + collar + Hello Kitty-style Klingon shirt must = Shadesong", and he greeted me thusly, and lo, it was me.

So we went out to Finale, as he needed dinner and I was quite happy to partake of dessert. And I was so unable to speak. Because aaaagh, cute guy, smart guy, guy I've been crushing on via e-mail for months and OMG he's right there and he probably thinks I'm an idiot. And he says his thought process then was something along the lines of "She's so quiet, and she's just darting little looks up at me. Does she not like me? But she's not leaving the table... and she just blushed.

"Oh.

"She likes me."

So there you have it. If I like you, I'll talk your ear off. If I like you like you, as we said in fifth grade, I will be completely unable to talk to you. Until mutual interest is established, at which point I'll talk your ear off. To which poor dear docorion can attest.

Comments

[zarhooie.livejournal.com]

But you talked to me right away. Was it because I gave you presents? :P

[zarhooie.livejournal.com]

'course.... *ponders* Hmm...... *has an idea* *runs off into the distance*

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Silly girl. :) No, you are lovey, but I do not have a crush on you...

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Lovely, that is.

[zarhooie.livejournal.com]

but you *should*. Everyone should.

(this is what happens when I start to get some self esteem, darling.)

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

*blinks*

*recalls 'conversation' at JavaMonkey which consisted of me babbling incessantly and you talking verylittle*

*blinks again*

Um?

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Hm. Not a crush such as on DocOrion, but a fascination, and I loved hearing you talk because you were so passionate...

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

*blushes* Is nice to have someone *enjoy* me being passionate about stuff. :) And yay for fascinations. I crushed on you *after* meeting you, and then it gleefully became lovey friendship.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Yes! That.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

So there you have it. If I like you, I'll talk your ear off. If I like you like you, as we said in fifth grade, I will be completely unable to talk to you. Until mutual interest is established, at which point I'll talk your ear off.

Hey, at least you _have_ a pattern that other people can follow.

I don't.

I flirt... randomly. It means I like a person's company, and the variation on what that means is vast.

My intense interest in terms of wanting to talk to someone constantly means I want to get to know them better, in some way, and tends to not include attraction when I first meet a person. It tends to mean potential for close friendship, but even that isn't always true. (I note that, if attraction toward me is indicated in my upon first meeting by someone that I probably would be interested in with sufficient time, I _can_ determine that I am attracted earlier than I might otherwise. I have no idea how frequently this is possible, though, as it's happened precisely once)

A sufficiently strong degree of wanting to talk to people constantly probably does indicate the potential for strong attraction, but that's not really something other people can gague, especially if they just met me. Or if I'm distracted. Or lots of other things can get in the way of me expressing this.

Is probably why I tend to be so very verbal when interest is strong enough for me to actively want to act on it. I have to; my signals are confusing!

(you never did email me about that 'email me if you want more info' thing, BTW :)

[mightywombat.livejournal.com]

Which one is your Barista Crush?

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

E-mail me. :)

[boutell.livejournal.com]

Hee hee!

I have a barista crush of my own as of an hour ago.

[dark-blade.livejournal.com]

*chuckles*

[sarahwilder.livejournal.com]

As a bartender, I frequently remember a person's drink before I remember the name and so I have the reverse situation- I know what they drink, they know my name, and I must refer to them as 'm'dear.'

[vitki.livejournal.com]

That's very interesting. I guess I remember people most by how they feel.

[sarahwilder.livejournal.com]

Feel as in 'interesting vibes' or 'masseuse'? *grin*

I'll also remember the things we've talked about, family and/or work details, but for some reason names don't attach very well in my head. I see the face and *know* them, just not their identifying proper noun. And somehow I *still* managed a successful sales career.

[vitki.livejournal.com]

And he says his thought process then was something along the lines of "She's so quiet, and she's just darting little looks up at me. Does she not like me? But she's not leaving the table... and she just blushed.

It doesn't surprise me at all that you are very shy, and I get that same response from women, but I respond the same way because I am very shy as well. Every once in a while, something shifts within me and I realize that they're intimidated/flustered, but most of the time I forget and start thinking that something's wrong with me. I can never think of the right thing to say and the right time... it's been very frustrating.

[vitki.livejournal.com]

"If you want to be immortal
You've got to have something to trade in."
--Scraping Foetus Off the Wheel, "Anything (Viva!)"

"What you love becomes your birth and your death."
--Book of Storms Series, Book Six, "Warrior"

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Heh. I'm exactly the same...