(no subject)

[shadesong]

One of my LJfriends died this weekend. Found out skimming back through my friendspage this morning.

I didn't know tx_db8r well, and I won't pretend to. I can't eulogize her. Any eulogy from me would be like a eulogy from Hurley on Lost. ("She liked flowers and Thin Mints and she cared about people, man.")

I did not know Liz well enough.

I wish I had known her better.

It feels wrong that I did not know her better, and that I won't ever get the chance to now.

Called yendi to tell him.

yendi: "I know she was sick, but I didn't think it was serious..."
Me: "She just had the flu. She just said she had the flu. How could we know? I should have known."

There is so much we don't know. Even here where we think we tell each other everything, there is so much we just don't know.

She was twenty years old.

Comments

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

One of the people on my friends list died a while back. I didn't know him well at all, I didn't know how sick he was. His journal is still up. I haven't the heart to delete it from my friends list, and see no point in doing so. Every time I see his username, I think of him, and it's an indescribable feeling. There is so much we don't know. *nods*

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Flu can become pneumonia, and without hospital care can get very bad very fast. Too many people don't know this.

Damn shame about her death.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

It just feels like she can't possibly be done yet. Twenty years. That's not enough.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I know. I could never get used to seeing dead 20 year olds.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I imagine that it's a surreal feeling discovering something like this. There's really nothing I can say to give comfort, but I can't imagine a better eulogy than a Hurley eulogy ~ well-intentioned and sweet.

[thejunebug.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry.

She had MS, and flu can turn into pneumonia quite quickly in people with that condition. I don't know if that's what happened with her... she wasn't on my flist. I do know that's what happened with my dad (who had MS).

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

*nods* Her fiance just said "complications", but yeah, I'm assuming pneumonia...

I'm sorry about your dad. *hug*

[dewab.livejournal.com]

I'm Liz's fiancee, Daniel.

I will say that Liz did not die of pneuomonia. She died due to complications in trying control seizures that are believed to be due to viral menanghitis. It's my belief that a doctor missed the boat completely for three days on her diagnosis. I'm very, very angry because of this, but you don't want to know that... you want to know Liz in life.

Liz spoke fondly of you even she hadn't met you.

Let me tell you about her...

Liz was the most wonderful person that anybody could have ever known. I'm a bit biased, though. Liz loved to collect things. Anything. Movies. Books. Grand Champion Horses. Barbies. Cat Figurines. Lighthouses. And most importantly to her... Eeyores. She loved ice cream, dark chocolate, popsicles, fudge... basically anything that wasn't quite good for you. She loved to watch movies and tv on the couch with me. We would watch TV on Thursday and Friday nights... all night... with either her head in my lap, or mine in hers.

Liz loved to have me stand behind her when she was at her computer, and kiss the top of her head. Afterwards, she'd lean back and stare at me until I kissed her lips. Only then would I be permitted to leave. :-) We kissed a lot, although many times, it was across a crowded room, or even between rooms (she'd make a loud kissing sound at me until I'd return it). She always wanted to hold hands. We could be doing anything, and she'd be happy so long as I had her hand in mine. I didn't mind one bit.

Liz loved to read about all the neat people on LJ. She was a bit too self-consous after all this to go to an LJ meetup, though -- We were both serious homebodys. As long as we were with each other, everything was good.

Liz was vivacious in her own way, although I doubt very much she'd agree with me. She was always willing to try new things (in the bedroom and out) just so long as I'd try them with her. She was always trying terribly hard to make me happy... and never realized that simply having her around was all the I needed. The reverse is also true, though. I did everything possible to make her happy. She was quite spoiled after a while. I still simply couldn't say no. I still think I have should have earned a frequent buyer discount at the Eeyore... er... Disney Store.

Liz had terrible money sense. I mean terrible. I'm still getting overdraft notices from her checking account. That's fine. It's just one of her quirks and they're even more endeering now.

Liz also had horrible cleaning habits. I was very accustomed to having a tidy, if not clean, home. When Liz moved in, that not-so-slowly moved into having a home that looked like the result of a small tornado. I'd probably categorize Liz as an F4 or so. That was fine, though. I soon learned to live with it and clean up on my own if I wanted to have it presentable for company. I'd try to guilt her about it once in a while, and she'd always respond, but being tidy is just not something that Liz was. From her friends, I found out that this was true for all of her life.

Liz possitivly impacted everyone that she touched. I was astounded at number of new and old faces that attended her funeral. People that she'd worked with for only a week before they grew sick of Liz's working environment attended because they were torn up to see her gone.

She's not gone, though. She's still deep in my heart. I can feel her watching over me and occasionally hugging me when I really need it (did I mention that she was all about the hugs?)

I hope I've given you some insight into her and her life. She is such a wonderful person that I simply cannot perceive how people would not like her. Again. I'm biased -- I was going to marry her and wanted nothing less than spending our entire lives together.

Okay. I can't write any more or I'm going to lose it again.

Thanks for being her friend, even if you'd never met personally.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

I wish I could hug you fiercely.

Thank you. This must have been so difficult for you to type... and thank you. I do feel like I know her better for it.

I wish I'd lived closer. I wish I'd had the chance. Paradox of the internet. It gives us the chance to meet people but not enough...

Thank you for giving me this.

I know that there's nothing that I can really do to make any of this easier, to really help. But is there a charity that was important to Liz? One thing I'm decent at, having a higher-than-average number of readers, is fundraising, and if it might mean something, I could get contributions to a charity.

Thank you for, in the middle of all of this, telling me what she was like.

[dewab.livejournal.com]

I love telling people what she was like, as it brings her that much closer to me and others.

The last charity that she donated to was Doctors Without Borders (http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/), but the charity we've asking people to donate to is the National Multiple Scerosis Society (http://www.nationalmssociety.org/). She had just purchased a wristband for that before she passed on, and was a little upset because it didn't fit her wrist very well.

Her MS was a shadow that hung over us both since it was discovered last November, but we were both determined to truck on the best we could and not lot it affect us too terribly much. She was an absolute trooper about it. I tried to be strong for both of us, anyways, but I'm simply not as strong as her. The funny part is that her folks thought that I'd leave her once we discovered it, and I did think about it... for about 3 seconds. It simply didn't matter. She was worth going through any hardship for, and while she was in the hospital, there was quite some hardship for us... and yet she was smiling and holding my hand the entire time. (And I was there with her for all except 8 hours. I had basically been ordered to go home or they'd have to admit me for fatigue. Of course, she understood.)

[natf.livejournal.com]

You have made me feel very humble. I am not sure that anyone would write something that lovely about me if I died...

[natf.livejournal.com]

Thank you for that information. You see, I had always worried that that might be the case (I have MS) but did not 'know' that it was a possibility. I wonder if my Biochemistry BSc gave me the inkling...

[thejunebug.livejournal.com]

Maybe :) Just keep a close eye on any flu viruses you catch, and always go to your doctor when you get sick with something respiratory-related. *hugs*

[natf.livejournal.com]

I will - thanks again! ;-)

*adds*

[wolfette]

Ow - twenty.

Too soon.

"Weep not for the dead, for the dead feel no pain
Grieve only for the living, who heal to hurt again."

[eyewrist.livejournal.com]

That just sucks.. she was too young.

at least she's resting now, and worry free..

[ewin.livejournal.com]

There is so much we don't know. Even here where we think we tell each other everything, there is so much we just don't know.

Some years ago, my mother had a friend whose wife died.

He had been married to the woman for ten years, and he said, "I was just starting to get to know her."

In a way, it's fortunate that we intersect at all. *warm hug*

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

*comfort*

[eng1ne.livejournal.com]

She was also on my reading list, a local. Although I never met her I did enjoy her thoughts and observances.

Also.. I rarely ever commented on her journal, and I regret it now, a little.

[sdaisyk.livejournal.com]

I found out Saturday night right after returning to college after spring break that my high school class' saluditorian died in a car crash Thursday going home from school. He was 20 too. I wasn't really close to him at this point in time, we didn't talk but once or twice after graduation. We had had quite a few classes together and hung out occassionally in high school. I guess the point of this story is, I feel your pain right now, as I am going through something oh too similar. ='(
~S

[fmi-agent.livejournal.com]

:(

[natf.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I am sorry to hear that.

I just noticed in her userinfo that she had been diagnosed with M.S. I wonder if she had complications from the flu due to that? I worry every time I get flu that it might turn into pneumonia or something else. A;so, there are very virulent strains of flu around...

I have had this bout of flu for more than two weeks... ;-(