I think I got a bit of both. I'm pretty good about filtering what people say to me and rationalizing anything that may have been offensive, especially if I know the person well (I may be a little too good at this. I was in a three-way IM with two of my friends a few weeks ago, one of them was in a bad mood and made a snarky, hurtful comment in reply to something I said. I didn't realize that it wasn't her usual level of snarkiness until the other friend pointed it out to me a few days later.)
But I'm also intensely aware of what I say and how I say it. I don't know if it's the typical outgoing tact filter, or if it's something that's come from being a writer and being aware of how easily words can be misinterpretted, but if I'm talking with someone, I'll go over in my head (or on screen if it's an IM) what I want to say and do my best to make sure that it gets across what I mean and that there's as little chance for misinterpretation as possible. I think that's a good part of the reason why I'm very quiet IRL, actually, especially in groups. I'll go over in my head what I want to say a few times, and by the time I've got it how I want it, the conversation has moved on to a different topic.
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I think I got a bit of both. I'm pretty good about filtering what people say to me and rationalizing anything that may have been offensive, especially if I know the person well (I may be a little too good at this. I was in a three-way IM with two of my friends a few weeks ago, one of them was in a bad mood and made a snarky, hurtful comment in reply to something I said. I didn't realize that it wasn't her usual level of snarkiness until the other friend pointed it out to me a few days later.)
But I'm also intensely aware of what I say and how I say it. I don't know if it's the typical outgoing tact filter, or if it's something that's come from being a writer and being aware of how easily words can be misinterpretted, but if I'm talking with someone, I'll go over in my head (or on screen if it's an IM) what I want to say and do my best to make sure that it gets across what I mean and that there's as little chance for misinterpretation as possible. I think that's a good part of the reason why I'm very quiet IRL, actually, especially in groups. I'll go over in my head what I want to say a few times, and by the time I've got it how I want it, the conversation has moved on to a different topic.
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