Oh, and...

[shadesong]

I did write up the M/s dream I had, that I posted about at 4 AM. Remind me to reread it when I'm not on cold medicine to make sure it's any good, and maybe I'll post it somewhere. Maybe, maybe not - there are a few things in there that it's hard to admit I want...

Comments

[gothwalk.livejournal.com]

It's kind of a matter of degrees, though. The whole thing is strange to me, no one bit of it more so or less so - you could want, I don't know, to be bathed in custard while wearing rubber, being watched over by an Australian in lederhosen, and it wouldn't be any different in my mind to being tied - it's all strange.

That's a very hard point to make without seeming to say "you're weird", but that's not what I mean, if you catch the drift? Just that there's this category of "stuff I don't get", and the hard to admit things are impossible to distinguish from the things you'll say to anyone, within that category.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Yes, I know. :) I'm just talking about stuff that it's difficult to admit to *myself* that I want.

Nothing on the order of the rubber/custard/lederhosen thing, for the record. :)


?

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

If you won't post.. would you consider emailing? I'd love to see what bounces around in your head when you sleep

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm definitely not going to post it here! As for e-mailing - don't know. Probably not. Too close to the bone...

[voltbang.livejournal.com]

Bummer. I was going to ask the same question.

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

*tries his cute pouty face*

*bambi eyes*

heavily filtered friends only? *hopeful look*

[gothwalk.livejournal.com]

Dreadfully unbecoming for a grown man to beg... ;)

[tarpo.livejournal.com]

Feh.. Sometimes a perfectly good beg is whats needed depending on the situation..

[darkmattr.livejournal.com]

Is it the one with the crisco and the sheep again?

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

No, cupcake, that was your dream, remember?

Aren't they all...

[avivasedai.livejournal.com]

... kids of hard to admit? I know I'm having a hell of a time... and my partner is totally willing to wait for it and make me spell everything out before doing anything... grrrr...

Re: Aren't they all...

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

They really really are! Once you've spoken of them once, though, it's like the dam bursts and you can talk about them freely... you just have to get up the courage to say it. And this is stuff that I've been insistent about not wanting. Heh.

Re: Aren't they all...

[avivasedai.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Holy yeah. But only for what was said initially; each new thing is a little bit of a tug, piece by piece... it feels like deconstruction of something, pulling teeth to free your tongue? breaking the wall so you just fall instead of pushing against it? the imagery tumbles through my head...

Re: Aren't they all...

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's important. Negotiation and contracts even if they're verbal are very important. We don't want to wake any clown puppet trauma from your childhood unless it's been specifically negotiated for.

Anyway, think of it as part of the submission. :)

Re: Aren't they all...

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

You *had* to bring up the clown puppets, didn't you? *sob*


k

Re: Aren't they all...

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course. It's part of the new cruelty. (channeling Patrick Stewart from L.A. Story)

Good point.

[avivasedai.livejournal.com]

It is very much part of the submission, and as such that much harder, to be giving those pieces away instead of them just being taken.

Clown puppet trauma? Man, I worry about your childhood. *grin*

Re: Good point.

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

It is very much part of the submission, and as such that much harder, to be giving those pieces away instead of them just being taken.

But it's all, always given away. That's the magic, that's the secret. To go in, knowing that you can stop it at any time but not wanting to because then, it would stop.

What I was saying about it being part of the submission is the humiliation of having to admit that you like these things and then glorying in them when they are done to you.

Clown puppet trauma? Man, I worry about your childhood. *grin*

Hey, clowns can be very scary. I saw someone with a frightening clown icon and I have no phobias in that area...

[zipless.livejournal.com]

Show you mine if you show me yours.

[skylion.livejournal.com]

this is something that i find perplexing, yet is also something I find empathic about you.
earlier you mentioned the "berserker empath" thing.
i think you also have a greater power of empathy beyond berserker mode.
You have a great gift to gather people around you. Yet you show a submissive side very often. Are there things that are out of your control? And do you submit too them?
I love and care a great deal about you. And wouldn't think different of you if you decided not to post something that gets to "close to the bone".
You have shown me understanding.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure exactly what the question is! But, part of it... I believe that my empathy and my submission are very interrelated. What's my goal as a sub? Please my Dom. What do I get out of it? I *feel* his pleasure...


Ú

Re:

[skylion.livejournal.com]

your responce is alot deeper than i can comprehend. i think my ignorance is getting in the way.

Wow..

[songwind.livejournal.com]

Lucky you. I've been having nightmares since Saturday.

I understand what you mean about not wanting to admit you want something - I have had some of the same issues, from the other side of the fence.

Re: Wow..

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Re: Wow..

[songwind.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[catalyxt.livejournal.com]

It takes a helluvalot of courage to admit what you want, from any side of the fence or perched atop. One of the most difficult things to consider is whether what you're okay with in fantasy is something you're comfortable translating into reality. While the idea may be incredibly erotic, the reality can be far different.

If you need/want to talk, feel free to e-mail. I generally have a pretty clear perspective on these things.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

*nod* And a lot of the stuff I'm fantasizing about is stuff that I can't do in reality, as it crosses yendi's boundaries, so I'll never know...

*hugs*

[catalyxt.livejournal.com]

*hugs* back to you ;)

[azurelunatic]

I have this horrible habit of submitting to peer pressure when it comes to admitting sexual things I like aloud. I tend to find out if the things I really do like are acceptable, and if not, not talk about it at all when the topic is brought up and everybody else is saying "eeew."

[nukewolf.livejournal.com]

I showed you mine...

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Hm. True. :)


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