Whoa.

[shadesong]

So for the past few nights, I've been going through old writings... today I focused mostly on the character of Katrianna.

And I turned a page and saw something that essentially just made me go, "whoa."

I am doing some heavy mental exploration into the D/s stuff, into exactly what does it for me and why and how I can get those needs met (no, I haven't made the filter yet). And I've just now been realizing and admitting to myself some... out-of-the-ordinary things that are major erotic triggers for me.

So I turn this page and I see Katrianna getting off on one of these things (and being ashamed of it). 11 years ago.

On some level, I've always known this stuff.

I need to read more of my old stuff. This is...informative.


h

Comments

[skylion.livejournal.com]

it's amazing how our old writings sneak up on us.
i came across a stream of thoughts in an old 10 year old paper journal that suggested heavy suicidal overtones. and in another, and actual plan for it. i had forgotten those. completely.
I need to post this and other thoughts.

[martinhesselius.livejournal.com]

Wow - but I know what you mean.
Sometimes things from the past do that to me, too.
Hmm... may have to wander through Atlanta at some point.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Heh. You just want to know what Kat liked. :)

*hugs*

[martinhesselius.livejournal.com]

::Grin::
Could be true. After all, I'm an old married man, m'dear. Culturally, aren't voyeurism and vicarious thrills supposed to be our only sensual outlets?
::Smile & Hugs::

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Well, poo on cultural mores, anyway. ;)

[catalyxt.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you mean. I ended up going over some of my old writings this past weekend, one of which was a science-fiction/fantasy novel I worked on my sophomore year in high school. Similar revelations...It was kind of freaky to see it in plaintext, knowing when exactly I wrote it. I've been renegotiating a couple of these issues and boundaries myself lately...always interesting when you're as...versatile...as I am *rueful grin*. If I come down for Fantasm maybe we can get a chance to talk about it in person.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we should definitely discuss! I hope you come down for Fantasm... I want to go, but I'm not sure who else is going that I'd know.

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking that if our October trip goes well and Chris has a good time (almost guaranteed, right?) then we might be able to swing coming back for Fantasm, if we have a vehicle safety-rated for long trips by then. (Which is likely; we're planning to get it in early spring.) It looks like a helluva fun RelaxaCon!! I'd definitely have to work up different costumes. I don't have a *thing* to wear to that one. :)

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

I'm wardrobeless as well... hmm, you'll be getting my measurement in October - maybe you could make me something? *hopeful look*

[whitecrow0.livejournal.com]

I've an entire cast of characters in my head, though I haven't been as diligent about writing real stories about them as you have. Still, most of them are just chomping at the bit for the times that I let them express themselves sexually. Kage likes to be hurt. Kosei is a complete submissive (sort of like Nathaniel in the Anita Blake books) who gets off on bondage. My werewolf, Ambriel, needs sex to keep her human.
:shrug:
I'll write something, look at it, and say "Oh, I'd never do that."
But it came from my head.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Right... maybe these are things that *do*, or *would*, get you off, but you're not ready to deal with 'em yet.

[whitecrow0.livejournal.com]

I may not ever get to either. Er. Yeah.