Hm. Clarification.

[shadesong]

Upon reviewing the "torture me" results, I'm seeing a lot of bondage. And I was thinking... the "B" in BDSM tends to be the least interesting part for me. It's the psychological stuff that does it for me. Tying me to the bed for hours will do nothing but bore and annoy me. Likewise the other props - gags only hurt my jaw, and not in the fun way. And I'm rolling my eyes under that blindfold.

The psychological stuff. You don't need to cuff me to the bed when you can command me not to move. You don't need to blindfold me when you can inform me that...if I open my eyes... you'll stop. And it shows better control - better mastery - if you can put me under with your eyes, with your voice. You don't need the props.

The one prop that does affect me is the collar... but that's for another reason altogether...

Comments

[songwind.livejournal.com]

For me, the S&M parts are usually the least interesting, except as an outward expression of the D/s power exchange.

I agree with you that the psychological stuff is great. The corollary of your points about the dominant is true for the submissive as well. If you're really submitting, you shouldn't need the physical restraints to enforce it. :)

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

If you're really submitting, you shouldn't need the physical restraints to enforce it.

Exactly! Who's the better Dom, the one who ties his sub into position... or the one who doesn't need to? :)

[voltbang.livejournal.com]

I always liked the bondage-by-command trick.

One bottom I used to play with was really into fear. So I had her stand, and lean forward just a bit, and close her eyes. Then I would use the siglnal whip, on her arms and breasts. It was so easy for her to lean away from it, she really had to fight to stay with it. If she leaned to far the wrong way she got popped hard enough to justify fear, if she was good she got popped hard enough to feel, but that she could handle, mixed with nice loud cracks that were fear causing but not painful.

There, now, get some work done.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Not my kink - I can still manage. Try harder. :)

[voltbang.livejournal.com]

I'm still waiting to find out more about what your kink is. Once I do, you'll probably get much better answers from me to your torture me polls. Till then, all you get is a memory or two of past tortures that worked for the person they were inflicted upon.

[gothwalk.livejournal.com]

It's the easiest part for people who aren't familiar with BDSM (or that supremely annoying phrase "the life") to think of. It's also the most stereotypical. The D is hard for many people to imagine, and the SM bit they'd often rather not think about. I think what you're getting here are other people's ideas of what would do it for them, modified only slightly.

Although I have to admit that my answer wouldn't please me at all, from either end.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Right. I appreciate that they're trying to get me going based on their knowledge of BDSM, and that's very sweet of them. :)

[butterflydezi.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you might enjoy a journey through my fantasy journal syn_chath

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Added it. And you. :)

Re:

[butterflydezi.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[mfree.livejournal.com]

So basically, the psyhological front is like the old classic (well, actually gender reversed from the way I've always heard it) where you'd be ordered arms and legs out to lie still on the bed and not move or make a noise, while you were orally pleasured, and the punishment would be *stopping* if you twitched or whimpered?

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Nope.

[mzwayne.livejournal.com]

( hi - am a fof -that is friend of fox- in case you are wondering wtf i am)

What about rope bondage?

i just had a rope dress put on me a few weeks ago for the first time and it was really sensual. the process takes a little while or more, depending on the intricacy of it, which is a great thing to experience. i absolutely loved feeling the long silky rope being pulled through between the twists/knots and my body. a lot of times while this happens, the end of the rope flicks your body somewhere, like a little whip (delicious).

i also love teasing and anticipation, so the longer it takes to get the ropes configured on my body, the better. by the time they were on, i was so hot and eager for what's next, my skin felt electrified. it doesn't have to be something that's really constrictng, either. the style i had on basically made my breasts more sensitive (I've never liked the look of breast bondage, but now i understand the advantages and it doesnt bother me so much), and stimulated other sensitive areas, especially while bent over, squatting, or sitting down (think your fave pair of tight jeans to wear on the bus). otherwise, my movement was not constricted in any way, although i like the feeling of having my wrists bound so i did get my wrists bound at some point.

i dunno. something to consider trying if you haven't before.

s.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Haven't tried that... it doesn't really sound like something that would Do It for me, but hey, I'm willing to try pretty much anything. :)

I'll have a go at that...

[queenofstripes.livejournal.com]

This is a test of the emergency bondage system. This is only a test:

For violating a rule that you were never even made aware of, you are stripped of your clothes and sent to a small closet, just large enough to recline in, with a thick, soundproof door and no lighting. A pair of thin gloves is pulled over your hands and a wide leather collar is buckled around your neck. You are left face-up on the floor with your arms crossed behind your head, your wrists bound together with a laughably thin piece of string. But the string is tautly threaded to a little bell which will ring at the slightest disturbance. The collar has an equally sensitive silver bell right on the front, a bauble that would look more appropriate on a housepet.

A firm hand coaxes your thighs to spread. If you do not cooperate, you are soundly spanked, locked inside, and left in the dark. A pleasant voice firmly but calmly lectures you at length on your misbehavior, unrelenting until you apologize for being "a brat" -- in those exact words -- and sincerely invite your keeper back inside. Your only direct punishment will be your own boredom and lack of fulfillment -- a fact of which you will be constantly reminded.

When you do cooperate, you will be praised, returned to your original position if necessary, and promised a reward. A long silence will follow, during which your nipples will be lavishly kissed. If anything breaks the silence, the kissing will stop until it is quiet again. Once you have assumed this attention is your reward, without warning, something cold, hard, and faintly buzzing will come from the darkness and press between your legs. The intensity of the buzz will be very gradually increased as long as the session is uninterrupted.

From this stage forward, if you cry out or the bells sound for any reason, the object will be removed and you will be soundly spanked. Then you will be returned to your previous position and the process will restart at the lowest setting. If you go for more than ten minutes without ringing the bells, one of your nipples will be randomly, suddenly, and ferociously nipped. The process will not end until you plead for it to, using proper titles and protocol.

The robotic vixens in your area, in cooperation with the Federal Catgirl Consortium, perform these tests regularly to measure potential public compliance in the event of a regional or national erotic emergency. In the event of actual bondage, you will be provided with a vibrator and further instructions.

*blink blink*

[avivasedai.livejournal.com]

After reading, and rereading, and selectively rereading, all I can think is, wow. Damn. Interesting. But what about moving that doesn't make the bells ring? Please?

Re: *blink blink*

[queenofstripes.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, I suppose that's permissible, but we have the right to add more string and more bells if you start thinking yourself clever. }:)

Re: I'll have a go at that...

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

!!!!!

*fans self*

You are incredibly cool. But you knew that.


X

In another journal...

[avivasedai.livejournal.com]

... there was this sentence:

Can there be a successful, competent dom who doesn't have a great vocab, an amazing voice, and the ability to stare you down til you can't do anything but whimper and beg? (okay, that was a dumb question.)

It's not about the props - though I like a number of them. It's about the person using them. Oh, and the collar? Just talking about it with a possible... key-holder, was dangerous. In the mind-alteringly, body-tingling good way. Phew.

Re: In another journal...

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Mmm. Yes. Exactly. On all of the above. Exactly. :)

[galateadia.livejournal.com]

I agree with you, the psychological is always more interesting than the physical.
But to tell the truth it is rare to find someone who can properly pull off the psychological dominance. There are some thin lines with respect to that kind of thing and most people have no idea where they are (like the line between dominance and verbal or emotional abuse).
So people who arn't in the BDSM arena all or most of the time stick to the easy stuff that doesn't take a mind set switch or even the time it takes to make sure of the other persons boundries.
It takes less commiment to tie someome up for ten minutes or even two hours than it does to get to know someone well enough to know what buttons to push and what voice and words work best for intimidation and dominance.

controls

[catalyxt.livejournal.com]

of course...psychological controls are generally more effective, and erotic, but if you know that in that scenario your bottom will not be able to keep eyes closed or stay still due to pressures exerted/shocking stimulus, it is sometimes better to blindfold or bind them so that they can concentrate on what you want them to. Plus, dynamically it can be a tangible element of control that some bottoms need...and psychological controls can be added to that to increase pleasure... my favorite of course would be, you can't come until I tell you to.

Re: controls

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

*squirm*

[auryn29a.livejournal.com]

Ohhh! So the only interesting bit of that for you was the mint jelly...maybe.

Bondage used to squick me.

[suibhne-geilt.livejournal.com]

My first lover had the ability to hold me on the edge of orgasm (via straight intercourse) for up to 40 minutes. She always found it mind-boggling that she didn't have to tie me down to do it - because the temptation to just flip her over, and take charge becomes immense after only a little while of that. It was a grand exercise in self-control for the both of us. To me, that's the most delicious kind of torture.

- Eric