Memories of competitions

[shadesong]

I never had an extraordinary ability in math... my thing was spelling bees. I won the school spelling bee every year, starting in third grade (yes, competing against the fifth-graders), placed in the top five countywide every year, went to State once and placed in the top five there (but didn't get to go to national). I loved the school bees...we'd start with just our class, then the top students in the grade, then the top in the school. But county and state were *terrifying*. Too many people. All of these grownups staring at my back while I spelled out loud in my anxious, quavery voice, trying to concentrate on the word I saw in my head instead of the weight of their stares...

I stopped enjoying academic competition altogether when I hit middle school. In elementary school, I was cool, I was the smartest kid in school and that was a Good Thing. I was a member of the four-kid clique that was more gifted than the gifted class - we had a separate enrichment group above and beyond what the others had. Me, Matt (lawyer now), Darren (boyfriend 2nd-to-6th-grade, no clue what became of him), and Paul (also lawyer). But in elementary school, that was *cool*. The other kids envied us.

In middle school, of course, what made us cool made us freaks. And I started toning down. Dropped the science club, stopped competing; still made the grades, but was more subtle about it. Discovered trashy makeup. *wry smile* Briefly hoped it was going to be cool again to be smart when The Cutest Boy In School, Todd, started copying off my tests in science class, but those hopes were dashed when I found out he didn't even know my name...

Anyway. As I am a more attentive parent than my parents were (read: I actually care about my kid and want her to be happy), I can hopefully avoid that downslope with her. Hopefully she'll have fun today. Hopefully she's always feel like it's cool to be smart...

Comments

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

But county and state were *terrifying*. Too many people.

I'm right there with ya. I only went to state once (came in 9th), and I quit winning spelling bees after that. I would happily win my school's bee, but I never went farther than my school district again, because I didn't *want* to go to state again.

As I am a more attentive parent than my parents were (read: I actually care about my kid and want her to be happy), I can hopefully avoid that downslope with her.

Well, all I can tell you is that I never quit being smart in school, even when I didn't have friends over it. The only reason I can think that I never looked down on myself, and didn't care (much, anyway; come on, I *was* an adolescent) about what other people thought about me was knowing that I had 5 people in my house who were proud of me, loved me, and thought it was cool to be smart. Even when I didn't get along with my sisters, I still knew they loved me and thought I was great. I have a very vivid memory of all three of my big sisters marching up the street, side by side, to go "explain" to a boy who was bigger than me that you DIDN'T mess with their sister. (He'd been poking sticks in my bike wheels as I rode by, and made me crash.)

[fiddledragon]

*hugs* another thing that has been the subject of much research - particularly girls and the loss of not just self-esteem, but loss of progress in academia - ie., girls that showed promise in elementary school, losing it by middle school and gone completely in high school.

Here's my post about it - with links to some of the studies done by the American Association of University Women.

[songwind.livejournal.com]

I imagine it's different for girls, but I went through a lot of the same stuff. I was cool and "someone to know" in elementary school because I was smarter than most everyone else, then started middle school on top of moving to a new place, so I was pretty much outcast immediately. Conveniently, I made friends that summer who didn't care, and my parents were always really supportive and made no secret of their own opinion of the relative merits of popularity and intelligence. :) Having a positive relationship with my parents always helped - I always cared more what my father and mother thought of me than I did some jerk at school.

Another way you can help is to encourage your school to treat the academic competitions and awards as really positive things, and give them press just like athletic and social ones. My high school always gave out the awards/told of our conquering heroes during assemblies, just like they did for the basketball team or Beta Club or whatever. Quizbowl trophies, Odessey of the Mind recognitions, Citizens' Bee plaques, etc all went in the display cases along with the track trophies and stuff. Heck, in my Sr. yearbook one of the athletic stars of our school wrote that if he was going to switch places with someone, it'd be me. :) As much as they hate to admit it, teenagers take general cues from the adults around them.

Obviously I'm not in school now, so I have no idea what the general tenor of the place is like, but I can say from experience that high academics can be a positive thing, without being the social kiss of death, if it's handled properly.

I'm also going to encourage our kids to not go through a "sarcastic asshole" phase, unlike me. :)

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

Me, I liked being smart so much better in HS. I got tortured for it in elementary and middle school. By HS, I didn't care what other people thought of me anymore. I started the knowledge bowl team my junior year, the first year we had it, and we swept the local (well, for us it was regional. neighboring 3 counties)--senior year I was captain, and we went to state. I loved being smart in HS. I loved knowing that while the rest of the school was mean to me, I'd get to make something of my life, and so many of them would be married with kids living down the street from their parents by our 5th reunion, or have otherwise screwed up their lives.

[rance.livejournal.com]

Can you still recall the words that tripped you up at the spelling bees?

I remember stumbling on "majuscule" at a statewide bee.