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A little bit of e-mail silliness about Atlanta. :)
Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.
All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave, Peachtree Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree, Old Peachtree, or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.
Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.
Atlantans do not believe in turn signals. You will never see a native signal at a stoplight, to change lanes, or to merge. Never!
Atlanta is home of Coca-Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. And even then, it's still "Coke."
Gate A One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport is 32 miles away from the Main ticket Concourse, so wear sneakers & pack a lunch.
It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs to that effect, so that out of towners don't feel lost...they're just on a "scenic drive."
The 8:00am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour is from 3:30 to 7:30pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00am Saturday.
"Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a remote possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they.
A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. (The Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh LEE-on")
The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over.
If ONE single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer if there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that the schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.
If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere. Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts. Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.
Atlantans are very proud of our racetrack, known as Road Atlanta. It winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence its name. Actually, I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."
Georgia 400 is our equivalent of the Autobahn. You will rarely see a semi-truck on GA 400, because even the truck drivers are intimidated by the oversized SUV-wielding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the salon or the tennis match to meet their children at the school bus coming home from the college prep preschool.
The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy, which starts at 120. Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads ,vehicles, houses, etc are yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies you will die.
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored.....
But other than that, it's a great place to live!
Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.
All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave, Peachtree Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree, Old Peachtree, or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.
Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.
Atlantans do not believe in turn signals. You will never see a native signal at a stoplight, to change lanes, or to merge. Never!
Atlanta is home of Coca-Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. And even then, it's still "Coke."
Gate A One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport is 32 miles away from the Main ticket Concourse, so wear sneakers & pack a lunch.
It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs to that effect, so that out of towners don't feel lost...they're just on a "scenic drive."
The 8:00am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour is from 3:30 to 7:30pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00am Saturday.
"Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a remote possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they.
A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. (The Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh LEE-on")
The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over.
If ONE single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer if there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that the schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.
If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere. Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts. Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.
Atlantans are very proud of our racetrack, known as Road Atlanta. It winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence its name. Actually, I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."
Georgia 400 is our equivalent of the Autobahn. You will rarely see a semi-truck on GA 400, because even the truck drivers are intimidated by the oversized SUV-wielding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the salon or the tennis match to meet their children at the school bus coming home from the college prep preschool.
The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy, which starts at 120. Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads ,vehicles, houses, etc are yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies you will die.
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored.....
But other than that, it's a great place to live!
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Mental note: Bring gas mask to Dragoncon.
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-elfman-
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No kidding. I've driven in it. Getting around Atlanta in any of the above time slots is HELL. Take it from a country girl, it's worse than I-4 in Orlando at rush hour. It's bad. You do not want to drive there.
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Austin is like that too. We've got a street called "Manchaka". How do you pronounce it? "MAN-chack" Swear ta god. %)
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We just call it "Econ."
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Milwaukee = "Mwahkey"
Two Rivers = "Trevers"
Beloit = "Bloyt" (think of the sound a quarter makes when it hits the water in a toilet bowl)
Oconomowoc = "oh-CON-uh-muh-WALK"
Madison = "That place with all them commie pinko tree-hugging hippie peacenik liberal faggots"
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We have Houston Steet, here in NYC.
It is pronounced, naturally, 'HOW-stun street'.
-elf-
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-elf-
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Re:
Atlanta fun
As for place names the neatest one was Kalanianaeole Hwy in Hawaii and the stupidest is where my house is in Mississippi. It's spelled Gautier but the rednecks down there pronouce it "Go-Shay" we just lovingly call it Goat Shit...
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[*]
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soooooooo true
This happens in NC all the time! One day snow fell and the schools didn't close fast enough; I thought the administrators were going to be lynched!
BTW, only charming ol' Atlanta could get away with naming everything and its cross-street "Peachtree". I honestly don't know how people get around direction-wise!
Re: soooooooo true
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A friend of my sister's moved to Conyers (not sure if that's how to spell it) back in the 80's for a time. She'd lived here in the Buffalo area all her life until then. Having lived through the blizzards of 1977 and 1985, she would actually call us laughing hysterically whenever the weather turned icy or whatever. The natives would think she was bonkers for going out if the weather got bad.
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OH MY GOODNESS!!!
I think I just DID die, just from reading that. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
-elf-