Odin's Day

Administration
Hello to new readers marlowe1, montykins, and spimby!

Medical
Exhaustion + nausea. Bad brain day - feeling very drifty in the head. A few vision issues, too.

Still don't have the biopsy results. And in answer to missakins' very good question, the reason I'm stuck at home waiting for the call = I do not have a cell phone.

Unguessed Lyric
"If you don't say it's wrong, then that says it's right." Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? -- Solomon Burke, "None Of Us Are Free", 0ccam

Kingdom of Loathing
Thank you for the Kmails of welcome and game-booze, y'all! And to answer a FAQ, yes, I've joined a clan; unwilly got to me first, and bribed me with a gift basket, to boot.

I have a trophy now. This pleases me, even though it is completely irrelent in real life. :)

8 Hunks of Hanukkah
Pictures of burning_brain and i_am_lono are up at hanukkah_hunks! This is fun.

Arisia
Will those of you who are Arisia panelists please post or send me your bios so I know what mine ought to look like? Argh. The year I was a panelist, it was extremely last-minute, so I had no bio. I have never written a panelist bio. *fret*

I had more I wanted to say, but... bad brain day. So. Here you go.

It's okay.

My second cousin's wife sticks her head around the corner, flustered. "Would you mind watching the baby for a minute?"

"Um. Sure. No problem."

I come out from behind the kitchen island, wineglass in hand, to watch the baby. It's Christmas day, and the house is in merry chaos. Hell if I know where the baby's dad is, or where his mom is going.

The Baby.

The Baby has, til this point, been a symbol, a cipher. The Baby is the thing I cannot have again, due to health. But I look past the words The Baby to focus on this baby, my temporary charge. I squat down beside him, look into his big melty-chocolate brown eyes. "Hey, kid."

He looks up and grins.

He's a cute kid, 16 months old, the youngest of the seven running 'round the house today by a long shot. (Elayna is smack in the middle, and the only girl.) He's very curious about the pool, and I lock that door against him. "Hm. Hey. Want to help me clean up?"

He looks at me curiously.

I hold up a piece of the Hot Wheels track that he's scattered all over the floor, part of the next-youngest kid's loot. I slide it into its box with a silly "shoooop!" sound. "Help me?"

He giggles and grabs a piece, and I grab another piece, and we work industriously. I teach him how to high-five, and we high-five after each successful slide, each "shoooop!" When we're done, he tries to investigate the pool again, stumblerunning fast, and I scoop him up: "Whoa! Pools are not for munchkins!"

He's heavy. Elayna was not this heavy at this age; she was never heavy in this way. This kid is built solid. Maximum pudge. Not fat, mind. Just very solid.

He laughs, even though he's been thwarted, and I laugh back and bink his nose, and this is the first time in what, a year? that I've been near a baby without wanting to cry, or without going ahead and crying.

And I realize that it's okay.

I'm not going to have another baby. But it's okay. I'm okay.

His mom comes back and I hand him off, and I go out and watch my kid, running around with her cousins, golden hair bannering out behind her, laughing her wild laugh, and... if this is the only one I get, I'm okay.

Random

* Note to self: Before telling GI secretary that she needs to have someone call you back at this number ASAP, make sure there is food at the physical location of this number.

Um.

I could make cinnamon rolls or a pumpkin pie. But that's about it.

* Your third Hunk of Hanukkah is up for the gawking - go check woodwardiocom out!

* By request: "Blasphemous Rumours", as performed by a men's choir. If this rings a bell to anyone, please give to me the name of said choir, as I hate having incomplete/inaccurate listings!

* And just because: "None Of Us Are Free", by Solomon Burke. None of y'all guessed this one. 0ccam had to Google it to get it. This means that you have all been deprived, and I must help you. You're welcome.