General Updatery

[shadesong]

Michael has been marvelous at keeping me busy and getting me through this, but he is leaving this morning, and soon I will just be back to bleakly figuring this out.

Where the practicalities stand:

Thursday at 6, Judah is coming with the police to pick some of his stuff up. This is supposed to be a 5-10 minute trip to grab essentials. In order to pack up all of his stuff and get it out, he needs to hire a police escort for several hours - off-duty cops at time and a half. I expect he's weighing the costs of just leaving everything here and continuing to pay rent vs. paying for the police escort. Obviously having the rent paid up is good for us, but I want this to be over. I want his stuff out.

To answer the question many people have asked: I think us packing his stuff up for him is a bad idea. He's already shown that he's a liar, and I don't put it past him to claim that things are missing, or to break things himself and tell people we did it. I believe it's in everyone's best interest to not give him the opportunity to do that.

One of the problems with the pickup: "He's going to bring some friends with him." I told the police wait, no, because his "friends", the ones who goaded him into that hideous spiral of behavior the week I was gone, the ones who continue to harass me - those people cannot be here. I gave a list, and I'll be talking to the detective investigating the sexual assault portion of this today regarding the harassment (I told her about it as part of the history leading up to the rape and assault, but there's new stuff). The cops were very interested in that.

So they said I can refuse to let in anyone I'm not comfortable with. But I'm pretty sure they're still planning to show up as a cheap intimidation tactic - but my entire family will be here. And my tough-guy BARCC colleague Bobby. And if other people want to be here, we can do a dinner party later.

So there's that. That's Thursday. And we've already swept the house and put everything he owns into his room, so he shouldn't need to be here too long, and Adam will accompany him and the police to make sure he doesn't try to steal anything from my room while he's upstairs.

So otherwise.

Today I'll be talking to the SA detective about the harassment and about my decision to push forward with this case. It will be a tough one to prosecute - intimate partner violence always is. But I actually have video of me sleeping while on Lunesta - sleep study last year. Near-comatose. Immobile. His "she wanted it" defense will not stand in the sight of the video of drugged, immobile me, a doctor testifying as to what effect Lunesta has on a person, and a parade of character witnesses who've slept beside me or been told when sleeping in the same house how I am on Lunesta.

I'll also be doing my phone intake with the Victim Rights Law Center. And looking into organizations that do domestic violence counseling - I haven't been in this situation in 13 years, and what happened with my ex-husband was barely anything compared to this. I have no frame of reference.

Accompanying Michael to the airport soon via T (unless a last-minute ride materializes). Then a lot of terrible phone calls, after which I may need some Gchat, and I'll try to deal with backlogged comments and e-mails on the topic. Then I don't know. I don't know how to relax anymore. The horrible rapid escalation of May took that from me. I will have to learn again.

I will have to learn how to not live in crisis.

Again.

Because this has brought up a *lot* of the worst stuff from my past, stuff I fought through and conquered, and now I have to do it again.

For now, coffee and breakfast. One thing at a time.

Comments

[trowa-barton.livejournal.com]

Will be online for gchats.

[rarelylynne.livejournal.com]

*hugs* One thing at a time.

[avivasedai.livejournal.com]

Gchat

If you see me, I'm available today, not at work.

[zombie-dog.livejournal.com]

<3
Please let me know if you want my company this weekend.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Pretty much my entire family will be in town for Elayna's graduation. >.< I might be able to get out to dance at Heroes? I *really* need more dancing now.

[zombie-dog.livejournal.com]

LMK; I'll keep Saturday open in the meantime.

[magenta-girl.livejournal.com]

I am with you in spirit. I am so impressed with your strength in all of this.

[teddywolf.livejournal.com]

If you'd like my physical presence Thursday just let me know. Anything I can do, you need but ask.

(Which reminds me: before this all got posted, my wife suggested I offer come over sometime to make some of my cheddar buttermilk biscuits in your GF kitchen. If you have any interest in that, just tell me)

[harkalark.livejournal.com]

I have no doubt that you will conquer this again.

[jadecat9.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
One day at a time.
You will survive. You are strong, and you will become stronger.

[samhenderson.livejournal.com]

I am glad you have local peeps to have your back on Thursday. Wish I weren't on the wrong coast.

[cucumberseed.livejournal.com]

If you see me, I am here for Gchats.

[spinrabbit.livejournal.com]

You are brave and strong. This is shitty. I am proud of you.

You do not need to respond to my comments, not trying to make work just to send what support I can. <3

[phantom_wolfboy]

You need me, I'm here.

[talix18.livejournal.com]

The benefit of having fought through it all before is that it will be a little easier this time through.

[ron_newman]

If I can help out in any way (up to and including physical presence on Thursday) please let me know.

(Don't feel obliged to reply to this -- you've got a lot else on your mind right now.)

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You can do this. You are strong, and even when you don't feel strong, you are surrounded by people who support you and on whom you can lean.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I can't be there Thursday but if you'd like my company Saturday I can certainly drive up.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Parents all weekend! But thank you.