Lightning Seeds, "Pure"

night time slows, raindrops splash rainbows
perhaps someone you know could sparkle and shine
as daydreams slide to colour from shadow
picture the moonglow that dazzles my eyes
and I love you

just lying smiling in the dark
shooting stars around your heart
dreams come bouncing in your head
pure and simple everytime
now you're crying in your sleep
i wish you'd never learnt to weep
don't sell the dreams you should be keeping
pure and simple everytime
( Read more... )

Musing on D/s

Yah. Be forewarned. This post has to do both with D/s and with the psychic pagany stuff, so if you're not open-minded, you probably don't want to read this. :)

As bloody well everyone knows, I've been thinking a lot about the D/s thing lately... and elorie recently brought up a good point when she pointed out that part of what I get out of it - probably most of what I get out of it - is the major endorphin cascades that occur in trance states like subspace. That may very well be what I'm hooked on about it, and there are other ways that I can get that particular aspect. So hopefully I'm going to be learning about trancework.

Part two... the other thing I get out of it is the surrender. Of course it's the surrender. :) But part of why... I am very, very vulnerable when my shields are down. And when they're down is when I feel the most *alive*, when I get the most pleasure because I'm getting his or hers as well and multiplying it... fractals... gods, it's hard to explain. So what I need isn't necessarily a Dom so much as it is someone who's capable of protecting me while I allow my shields down, while I open myself entirely. Someone with whom I can feel safe when I'm utterly empathically vulnerable. Makes sense to me. Probably why very few Doms can actually put me under; they're not as strong as - or stronger than - me, in that regard.

This whole thing merits exploration.

Weekend in review...

Saturday morning, I'd scheduled writing time... this wasn't entirely a bust, but it wasn't very productive. I was kinda scattered. So instead of the Purges, I started work on the big overview of the Shayara universe as a whole. I got to the appearance of the human race. Go me!

Saturday afternoon, elorie brought Raven over. :) The kids played, yendi wrote, elorie and I talked at length; was good. hotcoffeems and her adorable daughter Savannah showed up a bit later, as did mightywombat; upon finding out that none of the "grownups" but yendi and I had seen "Shrek", I made everyone watch it. :)

After the movie, mightywombat and I set out for The House on Mason Mill, for ne and fionn99's party. :) ne rocks - she knows all the words to Batty Koda's rap from Ferngully. I am in awe. Also got to see mousegrrl, who was mostly absorbed in Megatokyo, and martinhesselius, which was delightful as always. :) My kid brother eternalredneck, however, was in Tennessee having much less fun. Ray, let me know when you can hang out again, 'k?

Sunday I cleaned! Yay cleaning. Well, not "yay cleaning", per se, but yay for having a clean and organized house. :) I only have two Projects left, the catalogs and organizing that Girl Scout stuff, but those can be done tonight. I feel Accomplished. Went to the Girl Scout new leader info meeting, got useful info, and turned in my troop registration - yay! I have a real troop! *bounce*

mightywombat came over later... he and yendi and I watched stuff on TiVO. We definitely have The Wombat hooked on Gilmore Girls. :) And after, we worked on our new Secret Project (don't worry, it'll become Unsecret when it's done).

And now I am caught up to today.

I get the message already...

I am being sent some pretty clear messages.

a. I should not be getting into D/s, because whenever I get close to having the potential to do so, something goes Horribly Wrong.

b. I need to get back into practice, spiritually. First iroshi, now elorie and mightywombat, all in my life and potentially working with me... okay already! I hear you!

So fine. I'm listening. :)

Monday questions...

What are you wearing?

I'm wearing this outfit: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=959630934&rd=1
With these earrings: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=959024629&rd=1

I love eBay. I highly recommend the seller of those earrings, by the way; she's evilari on LJ, and she does fantastic work with jewelry and is an all-around fabulous person. So buy from her.

Reading: Here, "The Penultimate Truth" by Philip K. Dick. At home, "Kodocha" by Miho Obana (it's a shoujo manga, translated by Sarah Dyer of Action Girl!).

You?

Elfquest leader quiz!

I'm Cutter. This does not surprise me.
( Read more... )

"The Invitation", by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
( Read more... )

Yeah...

There are lots of screwed-up people and screwed up situations in this world. And LJ is, of course, a microcosm of this world.

And I leave my heart and home wide open. Always. Because I, personally, wouldn't want to live any other way.

And I get hurt sometimes. Fact of life. But if I didn't keep myself open, I wouldn't meet the good people, either. And one metaphorge or mightywombat, for example, is worth suffering through the bullshit of a thousand of the screwed-up people. You guys , everyone on my friends-list, are precious jewels. Which sounds cheesy, but it's True. And I'm the better for knowing you, all of you.

*happysigh*

So my boss comes up to me looking all nervous and torn, and apologizes profusely for having to send me on an errand. I say, "No problem!" She says, "But really, it's all the way across campus, I hate to do that to you!" And I just laugh.

So. Half-hour leisurely walk in the absolutely *beautiful* weather. I'm feeling very relaxed and peaceful now. :)

And yes, iroshi and kelrick, you two are fabulous precious jewels. Just had to have the name check, didn'tcha? Brats. :)

*pout*

yendi is working late, so I have to do all of the evening stuff Totally Alone.

*pout*